On The Same Page
by canny-bairn
Summary: JJ and Hotch meet up the day after telling the team about their shared past. Follow up to 'Didn't We Almost Have It All'
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I own nothing related to Criminal Minds.**

**This is one follow-up to '**_**Didn't We Almost Have It All?"**_** and is about JJ and Hotch's conversation on after telling the team about their previous relationship.**

**I didn't expect people to like '**_**Didn't We Almost Have It All**_**?' because it wasn't a story I thought was good enough to publish before, even though it is one of my favourite storylines that's been in my head a while. **

**There may be a short fic after this one about the team interfering if anyone is interested? I am prompted to write when people respond to what I publish, which is why I usually end up having dozens of half written stories saved but I do have an idea of what to write next for this, so if you want more, just let me know. **

**Anyways, enjoy and if you have time leave me a comment :D**

...

JJ handed Hotch a glass of wine one he stepped back into the living room with a satisfied grin on his face. "The third story got them a sleep."

"Bed time was harder than usual tonight." The single mother sighed.

"They were just excited." Hotch said in return as they sat next to each other on the couch with a space between them in the middle. "It's been a fun day."

JJ nodded in agreement. "It has. I'm glad we met up earlier for the zoo."

"You do love the penguins." Hotch smirked at his colleague's enthusiasm earlier in the day when she had dragged the four of them across the zoo to where the penguins were swimming around the large pool area.

She giggled lightly. "They're the best."

Hotch chuckled along with her before taking a sip of his wine. Resting his head onto the back of the couch, the experienced profiler watched her avoid his eye contact as the mood suddenly changed between them. "So..."

"So?"

"We should..."

"Do we have to talk about this?" JJ groaned in discomfort.

Hotch frowned in uncertainty. "Not if you don't want to. But I think we'll be able to deal with the team better if we're on the same page about everything."

"Right." JJ tried to quell the sound of disappointment in her voice. "This is about the team."

Hotch placed his wine glass onto the coffee table before replying. "I'd also like to know what page we're on."

"We've avoided this conversation for a very long time." JJ commented with a small wince.

"I know. Do you want to talk about what happened back then?" He asked hesitantly.

Shaking her head, JJ shifted on the couch to face him properly. "Not really. I was there, I know what happened."

"I think we should though. I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. It was no excuse but back then I felt as though I was stuck between a rock and hard place and instead of standing up to Hailey, I gave in to her demands." He cleared his throat with a small cough to displace the emotions clogged there. "Maybe if I had parted ways with her then, we both might have had a happier life. She could still be alive and with someone who she deserved, someone who was present and caring. We might of..."

"You wouldn't have the relationship you have with Jack now, if you had separated back then. I wouldn't have had Henry. Although we can be selfish and blame Hailey about what happened, she loved you and was desperate to get you back." JJ shrugged her shoulders slightly. "And you can deny it all you want, but you'll always love her. Even back then, you did love her."

"It doesn't mean I didn't love you too." Hotch said in a whisper.

JJ smiled sadly. "We had a different kind of love."

"Do you think we can ever get that back?" Hotch pressed nervously.

"No." She stated adamantly.

"No, of course not." Hotch inhaled deeply as he felt his heart cracking in two.

JJ smiled optimistically. "It doesn't mean we couldn't have something else."

"Really?" Hotch questioned hopefully.

Nodding, JJ took hold of his hand with hers and rested them on the couch, entwined together. "One day maybe... it might even be better."

"You know we lied to the team the other day." His eyes lit up in amusement while he tightened the hold on her hand gently.

"So we didn't tell them all the dirty details about our time together in Seattle. We told them the important stuff." JJ smirked in response to his sudden shift in mood.

He raised an eye inquisitively. "We also told them that nothing had ever happened between us when we worked together in the BAU. That was the lie."

"Oh... that." JJ's gaze dropped to her lap guiltily. "To be fair, we've never talked about that either."

Hotch smiled cheekily. "I know it wasn't intentional to lie again, but just so we're clear, are we talking about what happened after my divorce papers arrived or what happened before your wedding?"

"Can we class what happened before my wedding as something happening between us?" JJ wondered as the blush on her cheeks darkened.

The Unit Chief grimaced. "Your mother might have interrupted us but you can't deny the fact that we were kissing in Rossi's guest bedroom."

"That was really an asshole move of you, by the way." JJ retorted at the memory of Hotch sneaking into the room where she was changing into her wedding dress before the ceremony.

Their eyes had met in the mirror and with no words she had turned to find his lips descending onto hers. She was backed against a wall, moaning as he hands skimmed her body when they heard footsteps outside the room and instantly parted as though they had been burnt.

Hotch's eyes widened as he remembered avoiding the bride for the rest of the wedding and had to force himself to grip his date's hand so he didn't run up to the altar, whip the stunning bride off of her feet and run out of there. "I thought I could just let you go after all that time..."

"You were with Beth." JJ interrupted with a scoff.

He winced at the tone of her voice. "True, but it wasn't easy standing idly by, letting you marry a man you've never truly loved."

"I loved Will." JJ admitted defensively.

Hotch's eyes darkened as they made eye contact. "Not completely, JJ."

"You realise that was your fault though, right?" She replied harshly.

He did his best not to smirk as he opened his mouth to speak. "Yeah but only because I know it was your fault I could never make Hailey happy."

"We're both so screwed up. Will was a good man for me and I ruined it. Hailey wanted you so much and you couldn't keep her. Why were we so self destructive with good people in our lives?" She asked rhetorically.

"Because we loved each other completely and we still do." Hotch summarised. "It was unfair on them, but you can't help who you fall in love with."

"My heart got crushed when I lost you." JJ muttered quietly.

Hotch tightened his grip on her hand as she tried to pull away from him. "It was the same for me."

"I think we're kidding ourselves if we even talk about us ever getting back together again." JJ bit her lower lip nervously.

"Why?" He pushed.

She shrugged dejectedly. "It's too complicated now."

"Why?" He repeated lowly.

JJ stared at him in disbelief. "There's the team and work. We would be risking our jobs... jobs we've both fought to keep in the past. Our kids have been through so much and we'd be risking their stability as well as our own. If it weren't to work out again..."

"What's the real reason?" He prompted dryly.

A sudden silence took over the pair as they watched each other closely.

"I'm afraid to love you completely and openly again." JJ whispered as she relaxed into the couch, mimicking her colleague's rested demeanour. "I don't want either of us to get hurt again."

"We could take it slow." Hotch offered softly.

JJ laughed dryly. "We don't know how to take it slow with each other."

"What happened after that case, in my office was a mistake." He issued solemnly, knowing where her mind had drifted to.

"I didn't realise that I still loved you when we..."

"Slept together." Hotch finished her sentence with a thin smile. That night they had both been miserable.

The case earlier in the day had affected JJ so much she was still shaken when the team had arrived back to the office where Hotch's divorce papers had been delivered.

Once the team had left for drinks, the department had quickly emptied. Leaving only the Unit Chief and Media Liaison still occupied their respective offices, oblivious to the deserted office floor.

After getting her work complete, JJ wandered into the bullpen to find his office light still on. She told herself that she had only gone to his office to make sure he was okay. They were friends and it was the least she could do.

She never meant to hug him or to kiss his lips softly. She never meant give in to his demanding kisses or, allow herself to lose her clothes and her safeguarded emotions in a matter of minutes.

Not once during the short hour spent together in his small, secured office had either of them even tried to stop getting lost in one another. To be honest, neither of them seemed to be in control of what was happening until it was too late.

"I got scared and I ran..." JJ's strong voice wavered as he interrupted. "To Will and then had his child."

JJ smiled self depreciatively. "You know I like to run away from my feelings."

"I never expected you to run to him and have a baby." Hotch said sadly.

"It sucks, huh?" She pulled her hand away from his and scrubbed her face with her palms to avoid eye contact.

Hotch's jaw tensed at her comeback. "Was it payback?"

"I'm not that much of a bitch." JJ groaned uncomfortably. "I had to get away from you. I had to prove to myself that I hadn't spent four years of my life hanging around the BAU oblivious to the fact that I was waiting for you. Only to get rejected when you realised what we had done."

"JJ." He stared at her in shock.

She sighed teary. "You were sad Aaron, and I was your rebound, again."

"You've never been a rebound, JJ." He consoled knowingly.

"I did love Will. It was never as explosive or passionate as it was between us. But Will was kind and he loved me. He's a great father and we might have ended badly because it was so sudden, but we're still friends." She explained ignoring his soft words.

"I know." He nodded with an almost proud expression covering his face.

JJ steeled herself when she continued. "What happened back then, during your divorce, was an accident. We were both hurt and confused and then I saw you look so regretful after what we'd done, so I ran. I screwed up by using Will to get over you and getting pregnant was never my plan, but I got the best thing that ever happened to me. I got Henry."

Hotch smiled broadly to try and displace the suddenly serious topic of conversation. "Maybe we had to wait until now for things to be right for us."

"Do you really believe that?" JJ wondered out loud.

The profiler grinned at her uncertainty. "Do you still love me?"

"You know I do. Do you?" JJ asked hopefully.

"Always." Hotch leaned over and cupped her cheek with his hand before kissing her deeply. He pulled back slightly but just enough to meet her hazy eyes. "I am in love and I will always love you, Jennifer Jareau."

Satisfied with his answer, JJ smiled shyly before dragging him back into an intoxicating kiss.

They both groaned as the kiss deepened, while silently wondering what the hell they were getting themselves into by reopening old wounds.

...

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimed!**

**Thanks to everyone who is reading/following this fic. It's only a two parter but I've started writing a follow up if anyone is interested? **

**Let me know what you think :)**

...

Seattle, January 2003

JJ stared across the view of Seattle while leaning back into Hotch's strong hold. "So after nearly two months of 'dating,' this our official, first date huh?"

"One of many to come, I hope." He kissed to back of her head as they watched the lights of the city flicker in the night time scene.

Instinctively, JJ turned and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "Tell me something you've never told anyone else before. I want to know everything."

"Like what?" He prompted unsurely.

JJ bit her lower lip in thought. "Well, when I was a kid I wanted to be a lepidopterist and go travelling the world's jungles and country sides to find a new species of butterfly because butterflies remind me of my Dad and my sister. I never really got to spend much time with them as a kid except when we went hunting in the yard for butterflies to add to my collection. We lost them both by my 12th birthday."

"I'm sorry, but that's so sweet of you wanting to do something in their memory." He cooed with a smile.

"I was young and idealistic." JJ retorted with a nudge to his ribs. "Now tell me something you've never told anyone."

He pretended to think hard before complying. "I used to collect basketball cards and coins."

"Coins?" JJ attempted but failed to smother a laugh.

"Old coins can be cool." He shrugged haughtily.

"Seriously, you can do better than that." JJ pressed with a smirk.

He scanned his memories silently for a moment before his expression became serious. "I erm, I grew up... in an abusive household."

JJ stiffened upon hearing his revelation. "Oh my God, Aaron."

"I've never really told anyone before." His voice broke slightly as he spoke.

JJ's eyes widened. "No-one?"

"Sean knew obviously, and my Dad, he knew but he never did anything about it. My mother was the erm, abuser." Hotch expanded quietly.

The liaison stared up at him in shock. "What about your ex-wife, you never told her?"

"She knew I never got a long with my mom but by the time I met Hailey, I was older and stronger. I put a stop to the abuse and I made sure Sean never suffered at her hands. Hailey was a nice distraction to my home life and so I did my best to move past it." Hotch summarised tensely.

"Oh Babe." JJ consoled him by wrapping her arms around his neck and nuzzled his neck.

Hotch tightened his hold around her waist and relaxed. "So, have I totally ruined tonight?"

"No, of course not." JJ pulled back and smiled up at him. "Thank you for telling me."

"I hate how weak I was back then." He mumbled suddenly.

She shook her head slowly in disbelief. "You were a child, Aaron and she was your mom. She should have protected you not hurt you. I wish I could have been there to stop it. I hate to think of you having to deal with that by yourself."

Hotch lifted one of his hands to trace his fingers along her jaw before returning to her waist. "I don't know what it is about you Jennifer Jareau, but I want you to know everything because I want to have everything with you."

"Wow." She inhaled quickly to catch her breath that was stolen at his words.

Smiling thinly, the profiler pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I didn't want to make tonight so serious. I wanted us to have fun."

"We have had fun. Besides, tonight isn't over, you know." She looked up at him through her eye lashes.

"It's not?" He asked with a small smile.

JJ shook her head and felt her grin widen uncontrollably at the sight of his dimples. "I happen to have a hotel room that the Bureau is still paying for and they do room service."

"Are you still hungry?" He asked in wonder as to where she concealed the amount of food she had consumed.

JJ eyed him coyly. "For dessert maybe."

...

Present day

JJ smiled in her sleep as her mind drifted through happier times with the man who had been her friend for the last eight years.

Memories of what they shared and what they discovered about each other, had JJ waking up with a sudden invigoration that had been absent from her life for a while now.

Opening her eyes, she frowned when she realised that she was alone in her bed even though she could smell his scent around her.

Stretching her arms above her head, JJ sat up and decided to freshen up before she went in search for the rest of the household.

Ten minutes later, the profiler wandered downstairs to find him standing in the kitchen, watching over a pan that he was frying bacon in.

Sensing her presence, Hotch turned and grinned broadly as he took in her relaxed appearance. His eyes trailed over her body without restraint, focusing on the low cut top which showed off her chest perfectly and her long bare legs.

Without a word, he crossed the room and dragged her into a heated kiss. She was hanging on to his upper arms when he pulled away and greeted her properly. "Morning."

"I thought we were getting to know each other better friends, spending more time together and taking things slow so we could figure out what it is we want?" She pursed her lips in humour.

"We are." He answered her with a nod before returning to the food on the stove.

"Right. Good." JJ cleared her throat before pouring herself a cup of coffee that the Unit Chief had brewed for them when he woke. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept like a baby. Your couch is really comfortable." He confirmed with a smirk.

"I've had many nights of falling asleep in front of the TV on that couch." JJ added awkwardly.

He cocked his head to the side, observing her silently. "How did you sleep?"

She pulled herself onto the kitchen counter next to him as she replied. "Good. Somehow I ended up in my bed upstairs."

"You were out cold. I didn't want to wake you." He smiled lovingly.

JJ reached out and ran her hand down his arm before pulling it back. "Well, thank you, for carrying me upstairs."

"So," Hotch eyed her almost giddily, "what do you want to do today?"

JJ sighed in heartfelt. "Unfortunately, I've got plans I can't get out of. I have brunch with the girls."

"I do not envy you." He chuckled deeply without a hint of disappointment.

The tired profiler groaned upon realisation of what lay ahead of her. "It's going to be horrific isn't it?"

"I'm sure Prentiss will help you out after Garcia starts talking about weddings and babies." Hotch quipped with a snigger.

JJ rolled her eyes. "You would have thought she would, but that Miss Prentiss is a devious one."

Hotch laughed again at the expression of dread that crossed her face. Forcing his gaze to stay on her face rather than drop to her chest or bare legs, the Unit Chief directed the conversation elsewhere. "What's Henry doing today?"

"He's coming with me to act as a buffer." The single mother stated with a scoff.

"Poor kid. Why would you put him through that?" He asked in amusement.

JJ raised an eye at him knowingly. "Hey we both used our kids yesterday when we needed buffers."

"Well I can't stand by while Henry gets subjected to Penelope Garcia's over exuberance." Hotch said with finality.

"But you'd let me go alone?" She asked with a gasp.

"She's your best friend." The senior profiler countered unsympathetically.

JJ cursed loudly. "Damn."

"I'm taking Jack to Dave's for Sunday lunch and to watch some sports. Do you think Henry would want to come?" Hotch asked hesitantly, knowing it was the first time he was asking to take Henry for a day out without his mother present.

"Brunch with his mom and aunts," she weighed her hands in front of her, "or a fun day with the boys. What do you think he'd rather do?"

Hotch took hold of her waist with his hands to still her. "I'll try and find a way to make it up to you."

JJ gasped slightly as she watched his eyes darken lustfully and imagined that her eyes were a similar sight. "What... do you have in mind?"

Before he could lower his mouth onto hers, the two parents heard their already hyper boys tumble down the stairs and into the front room.

The weekend cartoons were quickly turned on the TV, causing the two adults in the kitchen to separate in laughter.

Hotch tucked a lock of her long blonde hair behind her ear with a stunningly lovable smile. "Why don't you go and corral the boys and I'll plate up breakfast."

JJ eyed the tray of pancakes and bacon in the oven "You can make pancakes now?"

"Well Jack kind of demands that he's fed on a daily basis." Hotch retorted dryly.

"Kids these days. They expect far too much." JJ joked light-heartedly.

Within minutes the four of them were sitting in the kitchen in JJ's small suburban home. Henry and Jack were chatting away making JJ and Hotch unable to get through their meal without laughing out loud at their son's similar humour and antics.

Looking around the table, JJ swallowed her coffee with a small smile. Maybe they could achieve a happy ending together or perhaps they were about to ruin eight years of unbearably, torturous hard work.

...

**Thanks for reading! **


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